response to prompt #1

In what ways are Pearl and May limited by the traditional expectations placed upon them as daughters in Chinese culture?  Why do their parents allow them to ignore many of the cultural expectations that Chinese girls would normally comply with?  How do many of the cultural and social expectations of today's society limit you and those with whom you associate?

In the book, Shanghai Girls, societal traditional expectations in China were being practiced less; though, China was still far from being considered a just society.  May and Pearl were born during Shanghai’s “modern” era, while their parents, still believed strongly in their generation’s beliefs and traditions.   The strain of embracing new, meanwhile juggling the traditional expectations, limited Pearl and May in finding their self-independence.  Primarily, it was their culture that limited them by instilling the idea that women needed to be subservient to men.  Gender norms also dictated that women needed to be presentably beautiful at all times.  All these things together, rendered May and Pearl completely oblivious to the drastic world issues occurring right at their doorstep.  As a result, May and Pearl were desensitized which ultimately, was their greatest limitation set upon them.  

Though, because of May’s charm and beauty, their parents allowed them some form of freedom, “ Later, something strange happened; my parents fell in love-total, besotted love- with their younger daughter.  This allowed us to retain a certain amount of liberty, with the result that my sister’s spoiled ways are often ignored…”(See 6).  Having part-time jobs, also allowed them to disregard the expectations that Chinese girls normally would need to obey, “But once we started making money, they didn’t mind.  Baba took our earnings and invested them, saying that, when we meet our husbands, fall in love, and decide to get married, we’ll go to our husbands’ homes with money of our own.”(See 10).  Again, this quote exemplifies Baba romanticizing the idea that further limited these girls by making them believe typical gender roles for women. 

Today’s social and cultural expectations of people are extremely evident through the media.  Having people exposed to television, radio, or any sort of social media inadvertently affects their sense of self in the world.  One might argue that the there is too much violence or sex in the media; perhaps it is to perpetually subjugate both genders to images, roles, and behaviors society feels a best fit for.  Just like Pearl believed, a vast majority of people also believe that resolute can be found via another person,  “On the ride here, I thought of the different ways he might react.  I considered that he might say something along the lines of “ I don’t believe in marriage, but I love you and want you to live here with me…””(See 30).  The media has mentally ingrained our society, like in China, with the idea of obligatory companionship and gender roles.  It is evident with individuals who I have met that are constantly on their electronic devices seeking self-validation through other people.  I see myself needing more mental freedom in order to be the best person I can be.  Perhaps if Pearl had used her resources more in her favor, she would have suffered fewer letdowns.

 In a society just like ours, where media constantly values appearance more than intellect, these girls invested their energy in the wrong things.  Even though Pearl was a college graduate, she still had not conceived a positive future plan for her own self.  Ultimately, what limited May and Pearl the most, was the society they lived in which revolved around trivial things such as beauty, love, glamor, and other distractions.